Monkey Tape is Here!

Mr. Monkey

Monkey Tape?

Buy Monkey Tape! The rival to duck(t) tape, Monkey Tape® Sticks to any form of matter exept Gasses, Liquids and Solids!

WARNING : DO NOT APPLY TO HUMAN OR ANIMAL SKIN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? DO NOT APPLY TO HUMAN OR ANIMAL SKIN!!!

 

Complete list of side affects when using Monkey Tape®:

  • Unpleasant taste in mouth, dry mouth
  • Dizziness
  • Headache
  • Symptoms of the common cold
  • Homicide
  • Genocide
  • Suicide
  • Pesticide
  • Abnormal thoughts and behavior
  • Memory loss
  • Anxiety
  • Severe allergic reactions
  • Hyperactivity
  • Constipation
  • Rigor mortis
  • Dizziness
  • Drowsiness
  • Headache
  • Lightheadedness;

    MONKEY BRAINS! MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!MONKEY BRAINS!v

    Three rolls of Monkey Tape

  • Heart attack
  • Nausea
  • Restless mood
  • Bloating
  • Leprosy
  • Sweating
  • Rash
  • Limb loss
  • Worms
  • Hives
  • Itching
  • Difficulty breathing
  • Tightness in the chest
  • Smallpox
  • Swelling of the mouth, face, lips, throat, or tongue
  • Confusion
  • Stroke
  • Disorientation
  • Fainting
  • Explosive diarrhea
  • Fast, slow, or irregular heartbeat
  • Cardiac arrest
  • Hallucination
  • Seizures
  • Cancer
  • Stomach pain
  • Dizziness or headache
  • Shortness of breath
  • Slow or shallow breathing
  • Sudden chest pain; swelling of the hands, ankles, or feet
  • Unusual bruising or bleeding
  • Vision changes (e. g. blurred vision)
  • Loss of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness

So, get your monkey tape today! (Just 12 easy payments of $99.99!)  Just call (1800)-Not-Real-Phone-number ! (This offer may not be available in some US States and parts of Canada!! )

-The Monkey Tape Co.

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4 thoughts on “Monkey Tape is Here!

  1. hey, please help i really would like to purchase some monkey tape. I tried calling the number several times but no has answered. I REALLY NEED THIS MONKEY TAPE!!!

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